Schizophrenia chooses its victims randomly. It has no concern for nation, culture, or ethnic group. All afflicted fall prey
to the same anomalous behaviors this terrifying illness brings with it. All afflicted become an oddity to the family that
once embraced them and the society they once helped to cultivate. While the person suffering with schizophrenia
demonstrates bizarre behaviors on the outside to those that must care for them, I can only imagine on the inside they are
screaming: Will somebody please remember the person I once was is still here. I am trapped in a world even I don’t
understand but must find a way to endure. I must endure so the society in which I live will find me acceptable. I become
frightened as I realize my reality is not a place you can go with me, because for you it doesn’t exist. Yet, it is something I
cannot escape, it becomes more real to me than you are. I fight each day to remain who I really am, who you know, and
who I desire to become. As I fight, it fights back, attempting to force me to believe the lies it screams at me from the
depths of my mind. I am being sucked into a whirlpool that won’t let go of its grip, and I need you to hold my hand, to
believe in me, and to see the me that longs for you to understand.
Taken literally, schizophrenia means “split mind.” This “split” can be understood as a split from reality, as well as a split
within the mind. Schizophrenics unconsciously disown portions of their thoughts and feelings and imagine that those
thoughts are located in someone else or some place else. Schizophrenia is madness. Those who are afflicted, act
bizarrely, say strange things, withdraw from those they were once close to, and may even try to hurt the ones they love.
They are no longer the same person we once communicated with. “The worst thing imaginable is to be terrified of one’s
own mind, the very matter that controls all that we are and all that we do and feel" (Torrey, 2001).
For the schizophrenic, fearing his/her own mind is an ongoing occurrence. Disowning portions of their thoughts and
believing what really lies within them comes from an outside source causes the schizophrenic to be severely emotionally,
intellectually, socially, and spiritually disorganized. The schizophrenic world takes on a meaning all its own and belongs
solely to the individual attempting to survive everyday in a state of lunacy they themselves cannot understand.
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